Fall From Grace
by macalaniaa
Summary: There's a sense of inevitability in being a Shinobi. I wish it weren't true. I wish you always came out on top, always got the things you wanted, always got the happy ending. But you don't. You live, only to die. You speak, but no one listens. You rise...only to fall. (ANTAGONIST OC)
1. Prologue: The Decision

**_"Life is a tangled web of unexpected events. Never claim or believe that anything is certain."_**

* * *

I was born on July 23 as Satchiko Nakahara. Second daughter to Amelia and Sejin Nakahara, clan heads, and younger sister to Seina Nakahara, clan heiress, by 6 years. I was born into a clan that rarely spoke, that didn't practice any Shinobi arts, and kept their heads down.

They didn't recognize talent or strength. They rarely looked in your direction. I was never held, or hugged, or kissed. It's my presumption that I was there only to further the proceeds of the clan when my father's time came to pass.

My father, Sejin, ran a business that transcended the nation's borders. Scrolls lined his walls, all depicting the conversion of monetary units from one land to the next. How to merge accounts, how to charge a product accordingly, how to transport goods under the radar. It was all there. Dry reads, especially for someone as young as I. But when you have nobody speaking to you, nobody to talk to, and nothing to do, reading is almost a blessing. It was either read, or sit. Neither were the most exciting.

I realize now that learning to read at such a young age should've been a celebrated feat. The first time I touched a scroll, I was 3. By the time I was 4, I was learning about business before I could even look over a tabletop. It was an interesting ordeal. But they never noticed. I would be surprised if they even noticed I still existed.

My mother, Amelia, never spoke to me, or even looked in my direction unless it was to tell me what to do. Sit here, fix that, look this way, pose this manner. Aside from walking and speaking, the only other thing she taught me was how to look like a lady. Always sit in Seiza. Always tie the obi in Taiko. Even if I never went outside, even if people rarely saw me, I was to behave and dress a certain way. After all, in this clan, appearances were everything.

Both my parents dripped with elegance and poise. For a long time, I thought that's how the world was. Parents didn't speak to children unless it was to tell them what to do. Parents didn't look at children. For as long as I could remember, my sole duty was to sit, learn, and follow my parents' footsteps in continuing the family business. I had to be perceived a certain way so that when the time came, all the people, all the connections, my father had made would recognize me as "prepared" enough to take over.

It was my only duty. My only purpose. The only reason I existed in this world.

And for a while, I assume, just like any other child who wishes to please their parents, I was fully intending to honor that wish and fulfill that role. I had no knowledge there was anything aside from this option for me. It was a path I was told to follow, and I intended to follow it.

My sister, Seina, never did.

I can't remember much of the time of when I was young. But I do know she would talk to me. At my young age, I remember I came to a small realization. There were 2 truths that existed in my life. 1: Don't speak in front of anyone. It's the ultimate clan policy, to dishonor that is to dishonor the clan. And 2: Seina doesn't count.

When she was gone, and I was alone, I would simply sit, and do as I was told. I was used to sitting still, my body had become accustomed to doing nothing for hours on end. But in my mind, I would dream up stories of the outside world, beyond my compounds gates. I knew there was a world out there. I could hear it exist, the low murmur of voices and the smell of food lifted over the gates and enveloped me in a hunger I knew was impossible to satiate.

One of my earliest memories is from the time I was 4 years old. I had heard the guards muttering about my sister coming home, and I had quickly gone to the garden to await her arrival. I knew my sister was a shinobi. It took me a while to understand exactly what that was, and what it meant. But she explained it. She was born in wartime. The third shinobi war was a brutal one, and almost everyone was sent to the front lines. As a result, all children were registered for the draft. Shinobi school was mandatory. And even though my parents had argued and fought (with class, of course.) the hokages orders were orders that transcended the word of the Nakahara clan.

And so, she enlisted. She graduated the academy early, was deployed, thankfully came back alive, and when peace time was here, instead of quitting, she continued. In Konoha, the place she told me we lived in, children were emancipated from their parents when they graduated the academy. She wasn't required to live with us. As a result, she lived in the barracks on the other side of town, close to the place she called "the hokage mansion." She had a team, a good one, she would say. There was a boy who was a medic, another who was a Genjutsu specialist. She never talked about the war…but she had missions, and sometimes she would be gone for months on end. She would always come back with an amazing story afterwards.

I will say, I missed her when she was gone. The aching feeling in my chest could only be categorized as longing, and I longed for my sister and her stories to return. While she was here, she would visit me almost every day. I lived for her visits. After all, there was nothing to do in the compound besides read about mergers and stocks, and sit in the garden.

On this particular day, a bright sunny afternoon in my 4-year-old life, she was limping back. A dark haired boy was escorting her to the entrance of the house where I waited, patiently, heart thumping in my chest because this was the first person aside from my family that I had ever seen. He had dark hair, worried eyes, and he never took his eyes off her. I didn't mind, of course. I was used to being overlooked.

I remember bouncing on my tippy toes under my kimono ever so slightly, waiting for her to arrive. She reached the gate and grasped it, her pale fingers wrapping around the iron as she panted, looking at the boy and smiling, before he nodded and went off.

I trotted over to her, my 4 year old legs walking with a lot more balance and control than a normal 4 year old, and she smiled as she waited for the guards to open the gates.

"Hi, Satchiko!" She said, her voice a harsh whisper, her smile pained, as she grasped her midsection with one arm.

"…..Are you hurt?" I asked. Sometimes Seina got hurt on missions. I knew that. She had told me stories about how there were times that swords pierced her flesh or fire burned her hands. How wind would slice her skin and water would encompass her until she couldn't breathe. It was terrifying. It was horrifying.

It was incredible.

"No, no, the mission was just a little bit over the top this time. I broke a few ribs." She chuckled, before inhaling sharply as she winced, hand around her midsection tightening.

I frowned as I stared at her chest. Konoha hospital was steaming with overfill. Only the worst of the worst could be seen right now. I knew. Seina had told me. A broken rib wouldn't register as an "urgent matter" until the amputated, the deathly infected, the bleeding out, and the severely burned, were treated. Even then, she probably wouldn't have gone. Any time she came back from a mission, she always came to me first.

"How are you, Satchiko?" She asked quietly.

I stared at her. We looked alike. Same dark hair, same gray eyes. Same mole on our temples, a birthmark that our entire family had. The only difference, is she smiled. She smiled so much.

I rarely did.

"I'm alright." I said, as the gates opened and she limped in. I took her hand as she walked slowly, my own pace slowing down to match hers as we went inside. The hallways of my home were quiet, and empty. Nobody ever came outside anyways, unless it was for a business matter. I remember wondering if there had ever been a time I had seen my parents speak to Seina, if they had ever even helped her whenever she came back wounded. I sighed before shaking my head free of the thought, as we kept walking. It didn't matter. Seina was my big sister. She was the one that always told me stories, always did my hair, always made me laugh. I was going to be there for her, always.

No matter what any clan rule said.

I walked her over to my room, and helped her take off her green jacket, her ninja sandals, and helped her lay down on the bed, her face relaxing as she sank into the soft matress.

"Do you need me to get you some medicine?" I whispered

"No, Satchiko. Just stay with me here, I'll feel better in a little while."

And so I did. I jumped on to the bed, crawling over to her. I laid my head on her shoulder and curled up next to her, staring at her closed eyes, her slightly parted lips, her chest heaving a little faster than it should.

I remember worrying. Seeing my sister in this state just made me wonder why she chose to go down this path in the first place. Sure, the life she lived was exciting, but…look where it landed her.

"Seina..do you like being a shinobi?"

"Yeah." She whispered, smiling with her eyes closed. "I love it."

"...why?"

Her eyes opened, her head tilted down towards me as she stared in confusion. "What do you mean?"

"Why do you like being a shinobi? You get hurt. If you stayed here, you could just stay with me…we could run the family business whenever Father was ready to retire…You wouldn't get hurt."

Her face softened as she grunted, turning to look me in the eye. Her forehead touched mine, as she raised a hand and tucked a couple of stray strands of hair behind my ear.

"Getting hurt is part of the job, Satchiko." She said. "Ninja are the backbone of the country. We protect it, we protect everyone. It's something that's an honor as much as it is a duty….There isn't any honor in hiding behind iron gates and conducting business transactions that have no merit." She chastised, as she twiddled her fingers in the air.

I remember my eyes widening, my heartbeat rising. Sure, there may not be glory in this lifestyle, but there was safety. There was a guaranteed tomorrow.

There was a reassurance that I wouldn't wake up tomorrow to find my sister gone forever.

I may have been 4. I might've been inexperienced. I may have had no idea about what happened in the world beyond these gates.

But I wasn't stupid. Shinobi went out into the field. They did their job. And some…some didn't make it back whole.

Some didn't make it back at all.

"But-"

"We, all of us, have something precious to protect." She said. "I would gladly break my ribs over and over again if it meant I could keep bad people from entering this country, and hurting you. The fact that I manage to protect other people as well is just a bonus."

"But you wouldn't have to if you just stayed" I whined. "You could be safe here."

"And then someone else would get hurt." She smiled. "Or, bad people would come in, and we wouldn't have any ways of protecting one another. If someone is coming at you with a knife, would you rather know how to fight them, or try to distract them with…business details." She chuckled painfully, waving her hand as her eyebrows dipped painfully. She lowered her arm across her torso once more. I frowned as she breathed slowly, trying to stifle the pain radiating from her chest.

"Satchiko, you're just a little girl." She began. "I don't know if I should even be telling you all the things I do…but…you're smart. I know you read all the scrolls Father has, and I know you pay attention whenever he has any meetings. I know you know more than you let on. I know there's things out there you want to know more about, and I know there is more to your life than what this compound has to offer. I just want you to understand…this..this world…has very little mercy. Not for children, or women, or the innocent. The strong…the strong are the only ones who survive here. And you..you're small, but.. you need to be strong too."

I remember tears starting to brim, as I bit my lip and took in what she was saying.

I was four years old. I had no knowledge of the world outside aside from what Seina had told me, and things I had seen within my own home, things I had heard the guards mutter about, or noises I heard from behind the gates. I had no idea what it took to be a shinobi. I had spent my young years having the words "the clan comes first" ingrained into my mind. I had learned what was expected of me, and until now, I had had every single intention of following that path.

But something in her words, the way she seemed…fulfilled. I never believed in chasing glory, but..maybe she did.

Knowing what I know now, maybe I wouldn't have been swayed by her words. Maybe I would've never second guessed myself. Maybe I would've smiled, and told her I was glad she found a way out of the clan, and that I was proud of her.

Because I was. I was so, so proud of her.

But she had said something that struck a chord inside me, shaking me to the core and I felt…fear. I felt uncertainty. I felt danger.

And I wanted to be prepared for it.

"…..Seina…do you think I could become a shinobi too?"

Her eyes shot open, a quick breath was inhaled before she groaned slightly at the pain in her ribs. She curled up a little, waiting for it to pass, as a smile crept up her cheeks.

"Do you really want to?"

Did I?

Did I want to live like Seina? To come home with burned skin and scars from cuts and broken ribs?

Did I want to leave behind the safety of the walls and the fortress of my room for a world I knew would never be kind to me?

At the same time…. was it any better here?

Was it better to live in solitude with nobody around you to speak to, to laugh with you, to grow with you? Was it better to follow the path set by your parents just because it was the easiest one? The simplest one? The safest? To be a pawn with no purpose?

Was it a life, at all?

What was a LIFE anyway?

Political tensions had settled but were still high. Countries still didn't trust one another. Invaders were imminent. Just the other month, I had heard from Seina that rumors of several kidnapping attempts were surfacing.

 _"This world shows no mercy."_

If the world showed no mercy, I…I didn't want to show any either.

Seina had said being a shinobi meant she was able protect things precious to her.

….She was precious to me.

"Yeah. I do."

* * *

A/N: HEY! I'm back. Long story short the last time I made this story it wasn't up to my own standards and I kept reading it thinking I could do a LOT better. So...I destroyed it and burned it and buried outside in unmarked grave because we're gonna forget that old one happened and focus on the bright shiny new one (which I think is a whole lot better) present here! I know it starts off slow, but it's all for exposition reasons! It gets a lot better, so try give it a chance!

Lemme know what you think!

(also thanks for sticking around if this is your second time reading FFG cuz like wow amazing you guys are true fans thanks ily okay bye)

EDIT: 03/12/17

PSYCH NOT BYE

I feel like I should probably give you guys a heads up on this story.

1: This is going to be an ANTAGONIST/ISH OC. Satchiko will not be a good guy. Shes going to be brutal. Shes going to develop into something completley different. It will be slow, and steady, and it wont happen overnight, but it will most definitely happen. Shes gonna make bad choices and everything is going to come from her perspective on things. She might realize her wrongs at the end. She might not. She might turn back to "the light", she might straight up skywalker this stuff and go full darth vader. You're just gonna have to read to find out.

2: There will be violence in this. I mean that explicitly. There will be gore. There will be death. There will be psychological trauma and manipulation and overall NASTINESS. There will be awful awful things happening to people that will be explained in explicit detail. My OC is going to develop from a 4 year old, to a shinobi, and she needs to experience things very "rawly". I dont know if you guys need warnings for this stuff, but i try to be sensitive to others experiences, so this is your warning.

3: ALL REVIEWS ARE APPRECIATED. I have worked on this story for a while and (even though i scrapped it the first time) the initial plot is still in play. If at any point you think Satchiko is not developing well enough, or not establishing herself in the plot well enough, etc, please, pm me, review, guest review, anything, LET ME KNOW. This is as much a test for my own creative writing abilities as it is for enjoyment.

Thanks for everything guys, and i hope you enjoy it!


	2. Prologue: The Meeting

**"I am small, and nonexistent in comparison to the rest of the universe. But I am here. I am alive. And I will do great things."**

* * *

I remember Seina all but breaking another rib after that. She squealed with excitement as she choked on her own pain, rolling off the bed as I stared in uneasiness. The fact I had agreed to become a shinobi was exciting, and terrifying all in one. But there were several disadvantages present and I wasn't sure which one to tackle first.

Disadvantage number 1: I was 4 years old, one year away from the start of the standard academy enrollment. Which, in itself, wasn't so bad, if everyone else had also started training when they were four.

But they hadn't. Seina had told me that there were clans that actually SPECIALIZED in shinobi arts. Clans that prepared their children to fight from the moment they could have basic muscle control. Everything they did, from stretching, to balancing, to simple hand games, all of it was in preparation to be a shinobi. Everything circled around this one goal, and kids were prepared for it.

I hadn't been prepared for anything.

Disadvantage number 2: Even though Seina was an emancipated shinobi, I, most definitely, was not. And that meant I would have to somehow, someway, get my parents to agree to let me attend the academy. Meaning, I would have to speak to them. Meaning, I would have to get their attention.

Meaning, that's something I had literally never done.

And disadvantage number 3: I had never been outside my compound. The world beyond the iron gates was something I had previously thought impossible to see. I was going to be a part of it, which isn't a bad thing, except, that I had little to no social skills.

A problem I believed I wouldn't be heavily impacted by, except that, I was going to (hopefully) be a kunoichi.

According to Seina, Kunoichi were meant to be charming, and deadly. They needed to be charismatic, and well versed. Not only for their own intellectual advancements, but for intel. For persuasion, for manipulation. Kunoichi were trained to use their entire body as a weapon.

Meanwhile, I was still panicking over having to speak to my parents.

Seina blabbered on and on about how to do this and that and how she was going to talk to our parents and how she was going to convince them to let me join because this was such an incredible thing and so on and so on. I remember I smiled nervously as I gulped. Seina hadn't lived with our parents since she was 5, and barely remembered what they were like. She didn't remember the silence, the complete apathy, the intolerable emptiness that filled these halls. She didn't remember the rules, or the customs, or anything that had anything to do with the way the Nakahara conducted themselves.

They were not the kindest people.

"So, we'll go talk to them now, and then we can go to the academy and pick up some forms so you can be on the roster next year, yeah? We'll have to start training as soon as we can too. I would promise to train you, but I have missions coming up and I can't promise I'll be in town for all the training you'll need." She sighed, tapping her jaw as she laid on the bed. "I know! I can probably get a friend to help you. He's a really good shinobi, Satchiko, you'll like him! He graduated top of the class and everything, and he has amazing taijutsu skills, and just wait until you see what he can do with-"

I kept smiling as she continued to speak, her hands waving around enthusiastically as she thought up new solutions for every problem we could ever face. I felt excitmenet growing in my belly, the opportunity to make something of myself that was up to par by MY standards was something I never thought I would get the opportunity to do. And yet…

"…we…we're telling them now?" I said, softly. I felt my hands begin to shake.

Seina turned her head to look at me as her hands slowly stopped moving, coming to rest at her sides as she cocked her head at me and raised her eyebrow. "…You don't want to?"

I shook my head vigorously, hands clenching the hem of my sleeves as I looked down. "I..I want to, but.."

"Satchiko, come on." She chuckled, rolling over on her tummy with a grunt. "They're our parents! I'm sure that they'll support us doing whatever makes us happy."

I stared at her, gray eyes matching gray. Two sisters, so similar, yet with such drastically different lives.

I shook my head. "Not yet."

Her eyebrows dipped as she struggled to keep her smile up. She cocked her head to the side in confusion, and I felt my stomach drop.

"….okay…" She conceded. "I guess…we can focus on your training for a while. Registration doesn't close for a while so…theres not too much of a rush…I guess."

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding as I felt a wave of relief wash over me.

"….Is there a reason you don't want to tell them?"

Fear.

The reason was the bone chilling, blood curdling, absolute icy grip around my spine that made my heart beat out of my chest.

I was afraid of them.

I didn't know why.

"I don't know."

Seina stared at me, concern filling her expression as she shook her head and gave me a soft smile. "Well, luckily we have some time." She sighed, rolling over to get off the bed as she grunted once more. "I think I'm going to have to see if a medic is free to treat this really quick." She huffed. "You wanna come out with me?"

"Outside?" I asked.

"Yeah, outside silly." She laughed, before moaning in pain.

"I…I've never been outside." I grinned, excitement rushing through me.

"What?" She laughed. "Of course you have! You must've."

I felt my smile fall.

She really didn't remember.

"Come on, let's go. I'll introduce you to my friend. He can probably help you with your training when I'm gone."

"Is he the boy that walked you home?" I asked, taking her hand as we walked outside my room.

"Yeah." She said, her cheeks flushing. I raised an eyebrow.

"What's his name?" I asked.

"Itachi." She smiled. "Itachi Uchiha."

* * *

I had not experienced much in my 4 years of life. Aside from my reading abilities, I had done absolutely nothing remarkable. I hadn't gone to any parks, traveled to any lands, or even met any people aside from the ones I grew up with.

But running through the city, chasing after my sister as she led the way, smelling the food cooking everywhere, listening to the noise, the people, the voices…

It was probably the most incredible moment of my life.

Any fear or apprehension I had had of the outside world was gone. The minute we stepped out past the iron gates, I felt free. I felt open.

I felt REAL.

"Seina!" I squealed, as she popped up behind me and picked me up, blowing raspberries into my cheek. "How did you do that?" I giggled.

"It's called the shunshin." She laughed, setting me down. "It's a body flicker. It uses chakra to enhance movement, so even though I'm here right now…" She said, raising a hand with two fingers extended. I blinked my eyes as I heard a voice come from behind me. "….I can also be here!"

My eyes widened as a smile krept up my cheeks. "Can I learn that?!" I asked, bouncing on my toes as I watched her.

"When you have some practice with chakra, sure." She laughed, ruffling my hair as she walked forward.

"Whats chakra, exactly?" I asked, trotting behind her.

"Its…everything." She said. "It's life energy. I have chakra. You have chakra. Everone, everything, has chakra. It's a combination of physical and spiritual energy. The stronger you make it, the stronger you get."

I nodded my head. So Chakra was important. Point noted.

"Where are we going?" I asked, extending my hand as she grasped it.

"Training fields." She smiled. "Odds are, He'll be there."

"Who?"

"Itachi, silly."

"Oh. Right." I said. I bit the inside of my cheek as we walked. He was going to be the first person I met outside of my clan, and I was…scared. I was nervous. What if he didn't like me? I didn't mind if he didn't, but I also didn't want him to NOT like me. He was obviously special to Seina, and-

"Here!" Seia exclaimed, snapping me out of my thoughts. "Training field 11. This is where I trained when I was a genin!"

"…genin?" I asked, smiling sheepishly.

"Ah. Right." She said, scratching her cheek. "Rank of Ninja go Genin, Chuunin, and Jounin. When you graduate the academy, you become Genin. If you pass the Chuunin exams, you become Chuunin. And if your abilities are recognized by the hokage and you get recommended, as well as passing another few exams, you make Jounin."

"Right. And what are you?" I asked

"Chuunin!" She said, pointing to herself with her thumb. "I became one when I was 9. I wanna make Jounin by soon, though." She smiled, winking at me. "But don't feel pressured..the ranking system was a little different when I was in the academy. We weren't at peace like we are now."

"No. We certainly weren't."

I jumped, a small yelp coming out of my mouth as I scrambled over to seina, and away from the voice behind me.

"Itachi!" She smiled, as I hid behind her legs. I peered out from behind, eyes wide, as I stared at the boy in front of me.

He looked at me for a minute, and I felt my cheeks heat. I went back behind my sisters legs as I tried to gather courage.

"This is Satchiko, my younger sister." Seina said. "She's decided to become a shinobi, so I was going to get started on some training with her!"

"….How far along is she?" He asked.

"Well, she decided to become a shinobi today, so, officially? Maybe 5 minutes." She grinned.

I peered over to look at the boy as he met my eyes once more. His eyebrows furrowed in thought as he stared a minute longer before he shrugged and turned around.

"I..Itachi, wait!" Seina chuckled. "I was going to ask you for a favor."

He stopped in his tracks as he swiveled his head over his shoulder. "What is it?"

"I was going to ask, if maybe, when you could, you could help me train her." She said, fiddling with her thumbs as she smiled. I came out from behind her legs to get a good look at her. Her face was flushed and pink, and she kept a ridiculous grin up as she spoke to him. "I have some missions coming up, and I can do what I can, but I don't-"

"I have missions as well." He said. "I can't dedicate much time to train her."

Seina huffed as she puffed her cheeks out. "I know that. That's why I said 'when you could.'"

I saw a little smile twitch out of the corner of his mouth as he turned to face us once more.

"She needs to learn quick."

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about that!" Seina laughed. "We're going to start her training today."

He stared at me, his gaze boring into my eyes as I bit my lip.

"..t…thank you." I stuttered. I fiddled with the hem of my sleeve as I stared at him. His gaze wasn't unkind, it was just…perplexed. It was like staring into a lake full of calm water, knowing there was war raging underneath.

I never knew what he was thinking.

I never got to.

"If you help us out today, I'll get you dango!" Seina teased, her teeth shining in the sunlight as she beamed.

Excitement flashed behind his eyes as he smiled. "Seina-san, I'm supposed to meet someone for training today."

"Oh." She said, pursing her lips. "Well, whenever you have time." She smiled.

Itachi nodded at her as he turned to look at me.

"..perhaps I can help for a little while."

I saw seinas face light up as I felt a rush of adrenaline overwhelm me.

"Awesome!" She exclaimed, raising her hands towards the sky.

Itachi nodded as he gave her a soft smile.

"We can start with stretches."


	3. Prologue: The Process

Itachi was, in a word, relentless. The first time we trained, we focused on stretches, on forms, on getting my body from pudgy little 4 year old to pudgy little four year old who can flip, cartwheel, bend, twist, and dodge easily. The first day, I could barely touch my toes. By the end of the month, I was able to do the splits and touch my knee to my forehead.

Seina was kind enough to let me borrow some old training gear, since we couldn't use any of the clan money to get new clothes, and I couldn't keep training in kimonos. My parents may have never paid attention to us, but to their finances…

Lets just say they were more parental towards money than they were to us.

Leaving my house became easier and easier to do. The first time I left with Seina, I was full of energy and adrenaline. As I kept going day after day, the excitement wore off, replacing itself with anxiety. What if my parents found out? How mad would they be? What if they saw me? What would happen?

But time went on. I would leave the house undetected. My parents never even saw me anyways. Seina would pick me up, and we would quickly run to the training fields, for days on end. I grew more comfortable with the thought of leaving, to the point where the anxiety of my parents finding out was pushed to the back of my mind, a feat so unrealistic I barely worried myself over it.

After a while, missions came in. Sometimes I would train with just seina, sometimes Seina and Itachi, and sometimes, just Itachi.

Those were…strange days.

He never made me talk. Sure, if Seina was around I mumbled a couple things, but not speaking in front of strangers had been so ingrained into my being that it made me physically uncomfortable to use my vocal chords in his presence. We trained in silence. The only time he would speak was to correct me, or to tell me the next move.

Dont get me wrong, both him and Seina were hard instructors. There was very little mercy given to me, and even though Seina was the lesser dictator of the two, she still would only send me home when if I collapsed.

Itachi would wait, see if I could get up, and if I could get up, then I could keep training.

Once we got past the stretches, we focused on hand flexibility. It was important to develop hand dexterity in order to weave signs. This came easy to children who had been playing hand games designated to improve hand eye coordination, as well as nimbleness, since birth.

I wasn't so lucky.

"Ram, monkey, boar, horse, tiger." He said, his hands moving quickly.

I groaned, trying to mimic them. I could handle ram and monkey and boar. They weren't the most difficult of signs. Horse though.

I hated horse.

The interlocking of fingers was hard for me, and I kept on mixing them up. I would put my index where my middle should go, or my ring where my pinky should be. On one occasion Itachi merely chuckled, mentioning that he was glad I didn't know how to do ninjutsu yet, as we would probably be blown up.

I remember scowling as he walked over to me, taking my hands in his as he crouched down.

"Your problem is that your trying to interlock your fingers before you have the proper formation." He said. "Touch your index fingers together first."

He moved my hands accordingly, twisting my palms to face me as my two fingers touched each other.

"The reason we do signs is to concentrate chakra accordingly. You have chakra flowing in both arms. You need to concentrate that by giving it a point of contact. If you touch your index fingers, it's easier for it to flow. Once you interlock the rest, it reaches its desired concentration. Once you move to the next sign, tiger, then it builds and you can release the ninjutsu."

I nodded, interlocking my small fingers.

"Good. Now start from the beginning."

I sighed.

Day after day, we worked on this. Sometimes with Itachi, sometimes with Seina, sometimes both. If I wasn't running, I was stretching. If I wasn't stretching, I was practicing hand signs. And if I wasn't practicing hand signs, I was meditating.

Or napping. It was a mix of the two.

Not that I could really slack off. Nope. Not with Itachi.

Seina couldn't tell if I had fallen asleep until I let out an unwanted snore. Itachi, though. Itachi would throw pebbles at my forehead the minute I felt my mind wander from meditation land to "nows a good time to nap" land.

It was like he knew what I was doing before I did it. Which made no sense, because whenever we were meditating, he was right in front of me, eyes closed.

How he knew I was falling asleep, I had no idea. I'll tack it up to Shinobi magic knowledge.

* * *

After 3 months, I was able to weave signs in reasonable speed. I learned others. Dragon, serpent, ox, hare. Within the span of 5 months, we moved from stretches, to balance exercises, to strength exercises, to proper taijutsu stances, to taijutsu techniques, to proper shuriken and kunai handling, and then, to throwing.

My body slowly began to change, and I took notice. It was slowly being built into a weapon. I was only 4, but I could see muscle definition in my arms, my legs, my stomach. After training with them, I could raise my leg up to my ear, and I could flip back and forth with ease. I could jump over them both when they were crouched down, a feat they said would improve whenever I learned to use my chakra to catapult myself higher.

Which led into another stage of training.

Chakra control.

"Itachi tells me you're ready to start the leaf excersise!" Seina said.

"Whats the leaf excersise?"

"Its when you stick a leaf to your forehead, and manipulate your chakra to keep it there." She smiled. "We're going to give it a try today, okay?"

"…okay."

I had never used chakra before. They had drilled me about it in the past. The importance of it, the way it worked, how it was made in the body, how to feel it, etc. But it had all been theoretical. I had never actually put it into practice.

So when Seina asked me to stick a leaf to my head, find my chakra, and keep it there…

It was the first of many leaves that met a fiery end.

"You're still using way too much." Seina chuckled. A fine sweat had formed over my brow, and I struggled to keep one of the many leaves I had gathered, up.

"Satchiko, relax. Chakra is spiritual energy and physical. If your spirit is under distress, youre not going to be able to manipulate it well. Just concentrate on the leaf."

I opened one eye as I felt the leaf unstick from my forehead and I sighed, wiping the sweat off with my sleeve. I pursed my lips as I stared at it as it fell to the dirt beneath us, waiting to be picked up only to either be let down again, or burn.

I had felt chakra before. When I started training, I thought it was a stomach ache. Itachi was the one that had explained that chakra was molded in the stomach, and that since it was tied to physical energy, the more physical power you gained, the farther your chakra could come. Whic would explain why I had never felt it before. My physical energy levels had been nonexistent. All I did was sit. Or read. Maybe walk through the garden. Play with an ant.

You get the gist of it.

He had taught me how to feel it everywhere, my legs, my feet, my arms, my hands. Whenever I would weave signs, I could feel the slight tingle of it in my wrists, waiting to be released. I could feel it all over. I just issues concentrating it.

My chakra control became something we worked on day, we would start off by meditating, and focusing on keeping the leaf in place. And every day, they would either fall, or burn.

I became increasingly disappointed with my own abilities. I had tried hard, and I had worked hard, but nothing I did was working. Seina tried to lift my mood, saying I needed to understand that because I was behind, it would take me longer to familiarize myself with chakra, and therefore, longer to control it. Itachi tried to comfort me as well, saying it takes a lot of skill to control chakra and that his little brother was still trying to grasp the theoretical side of it all, and hadn't even attempted the lead exercise yet.

"I bet you he'll have it down in a week." I muttered.

I remember his steps faltering just a second before he continued walking, his shoulders shaking lightly as he continued.

"Why's that?"

"Because he's got you there to help him all the time." I sighed. Itachi's face fell for a second before his smiled at me.

"He's your age, actually."

"That's the first time you've spoken to Itachi, Satchiko." Seina laughed, as she opened the door to the dango shop.

I bit my lip. Aside from the initial meeting, I hadn't spoken to Itachi in the entirety of our training. I had simply nodded, or scowled, or smiled, or frowned.

"I didn't know you had a brother." Seina said. "You should bring him for training! He and Satchiko can be friends."

"...Maybe." He said.

* * *

Training continued, and I eventually took it upon myself to learn more. Missions were piling up, and on many occasions, I would be alone. Itachi was sent on more missions than Seina, but Seinas missions were longer. Itachi never told me what exactly it was that he did, but I knew Seina was in the Intel division. Being young, as well as a ninjutsu specialist, made it easy for her to go into places undetected, gather information, and if things went sour, she had the necessary capabilities to defend herself well.

I didn't know much about politics, or war, or even the state of affairs Konoha was in, but I did know things weren't perfect. And as more tension built, the more times Seina, and Itachi, were sent out. It was also the more times I was left alone.

I took this time to read. I managed to find the public library and began to find some scrolls regarding chakra control and distribution, different ninjutsu abilities that I would probably learn in 100 years, and tips on exercises for hand eye coordination. My shuriken and kunai skills were acceptable, but I didn't want acceptable.

I wanted extraordinary.

For 2 months, both of my instructors were gone, and I worked myself to my limits. I read every scroll I could. I learned about chakra distribution and chakra coils. I meditated for hours, and became increasingly aware of the energy flowing inside me. I managed to stick a leaf to my forehead for 10 seconds without blowing it up. I learned to spread chakra to my legs, my arms, and coat them in it, even if it was just for a few seconds. I managed to learn how to distribute chakra evenly across my body, to reinforce it, and how to concentrate it on my feet, to run, to jump, to soar, higher, and faster, than I ever had before. I learned how to sneak out of the house and use chakra to coat my feet and not make a sound. The training field was littered with holes from Kunai and Shuriken. I practiced my taijutsu against trees, against dummies, against anything I could. I made my knuckles bleed, I made my legs bruise. I pushed my body to every limit I could. I would wake up at the crack of dawn, and train until I couldn't anymore.

I blame Itachi for instilling that in me.

I wanted them to come home, and I wanted them to be impressed. I wanted them to see how far I had come. I wanted them to see I was worth their effort. That I was worth all this time. Because we were 7 months in.

5 until the academy began.

I needed to tell my parents soon.


	4. Prologue: The Family

_**"I will show you how to use everything, and everyone, available."**_

* * *

Weeks went on, and I heard nothing. I walked through the village with my head down, ears perked, straining to hear the slightest mention of their names. I checked the bulletin boards for the shinobi that were M.I.A. I checked the newspaper, for the K.I.A section. Obituaries. Bodies lists and descriptions that were posted outside the hospital.

Nothing.

I had never thought of myself as one to wallow in any emotion. I had thought life as simple. Wake up. Sit. Do as you're told. Sleep. That was the life I had lived. It had been uneventful, and sedentary, and unexciting.

But there had been certainty.

Sure, there was the downsides. I had never experienced that feeling I got when I ran through the city with Seina. That feeling of joy, of courage, of freedom. Those were things foreign to me, something I felt once, and strived to feel again.

But there were the upsides, too. I never felt sad. I never felt angry. I never worried. I never had to deal with emotions, or speaking, or interacting. I never had to worry about friends, or being close to people, because none had been close to me.

I only worried about Seina, minimally. She told me stories of being a shinobi, of death defying stunts and missions and getting hurt, but they never phased me too much, because…. she always came back.

She always, always, came back…to the point that it never struck me that maybe, one day, she _wouldn't._

But going past that fence has opened up an entire world to me, one I had no idea that existed. The world of death, of pain, of the reality of what _happened_ when shinobi took too long on a mission hung over me permanently as the days went on. I may have been naïve, but I wasn't stupid.

I knew people died.

I had never had to worry. I had never had to wonder. I had never had to wallow in the possibility of my sister coming back as a corpse. I had never had to wonder about what I would do if I was told if someone precious was gone.

I had decided to be a shinobi to protect people precious to me. Because even behind walls, I knew there was danger. I knew things happened. I knew there was an outside I had never experienced, and I had willingly thrown myself into it to experience it, to live it, to adapt, and to protect. Because Seina was doing that.

I wanted to do the same.

 _But._

But Seina loved Konoha. She loved the vendors, the academy, the teachers, the village entirely. She lived it, breathed it, was it. She had been integrated into this society all her life. She had watched it grow. She had fought to defend it. Konoha was her as much as she was part of it. She lived for the village.

I….wasn't…her.

I hadn't fought. I hadn't risked anything. I hadn't thrown myself to the front lines to defend a land I loved. I hadn't been part of this society all my life. I had lived my life behind a fence because that's what I had been told to do. To see, not touch. To watch, not interact. To listen, not speak.

I didn't know this land like she did. The nationalism wasn't ingrained into me. I didn't grow up believing this was the be all, end all. I didn't know this place the way she did.

I didn't know this village.

I had watched it from an outside lens all my life. And I envied it, yes. Because I WANTED to be a part of it all. I WANTED to be _like_ Seina. To fight for something you believed in and to risk it all for your cause and to _protect._ I WANTED to love the village.

But I wasn't Seina.

I wasn't doing this for the village.

Seina could step to the front lines and fight all she wanted. She could protect the citizens, the people, the hokage, everyone. She could risk her life for the village all she wanted.

I was the one tired of seeing my sister hurt.

I had become a shinobi to protect the person that was precious to me.

What would I do, if something happened to them?

I had never thought, for one second, that I might never get the chance to do any protecting.

The feeling of helplessness, of complete uselessness, of absolute inadequacy, overwhelmed me.

So…I threw myself into training in a frenzy. Every pang of sorrow, of worry, every single second I spent wallowing in the possibility of that precious person not returning, I converted into punches, and kicks, and hand signs and chakra training. It got to the point that I wasn't even returning home, but just sleeping when I passed out from exhaustion. I was pushing myself to the brink, and I knew it. But what else could I do?

I had never had to deal with emotions like this. I didn't know how. I had nobody to speak to. I still couldn't go up to people and say hello casually, much less go to a stationed shinobi and ask for information on two other shinobi. I was alone.

I was alone, and I had never been so aware of loneliness.

"Hey!"

I snapped my head away from the battered tree trunk, wiping my eyes as I panted, looking in the direction of the strange voice. My first thought was Itachi, as the voice was male. But I quickly shook that thought away. Chakra training and control training had made me sensitive to hearing and smell, a feat Seina had told me would come as I grew, and got more experience. Itachi's voice was deeper, it was calmer, it wasn't as…optimistic. This was a stranger. This was-

"Over here."

I heard the voice behind me, right by my ear. I felt a chill crawl through my body as I instinctively yelped, and sent a rapid burst of chakra to my feet as I quickly moved away, my body already contorting to standard taijutsu stance. He had moved, quickly. One second he had been on the other side of the field, the next, right by me. He was quick.

"Impressive!" The voice chuckled, as he walked out of the shadows. I cocked my head. I…didn't know him.

"I take it you're Satchiko, ne?" He asked, a warm smile spreading across his cheeks. I swallowed hard as I nodded, shoulders still tense, posture not faltering. I didn't know who this was. I didn't know who had sent him. I didn't know who he could be, or what he wanted, or-

"My name is Shisui Uchiha."

I took a minute to understand his words. "….u..uchiha?" I asked, posture automatically softening. "You're an Uchiha?"

"Mhm." He nodded. "Itachi sent me a letter from his mission post. He's taking a while, due to unforeseen circumstances. But he wanted to make sure you and Sasuke were both keeping up with your training. He asked for me to check in, and, well, I owe him a favor, so, here I am." He smiled.

"….Itachi sent you a letter?" I asked, defenses dropped. I felt my eyes water.

He kept smiling as he crouched down in front of me. "Yeah. I would show it to you, if I could. There's some classified info in there that pertains to his mission, so you understand why I can't, right?"

I felt my heart clench as I nodded. I let out a breath, and with it, half my worries. Itachi was okay. Itachi was okay.

Itachi was okay.

 ** _WHEREWASMYSISTER._**

"Personally, I was surprised." He chuckled. "Itachi isn't the type to take on apprentices. But then again, you're Seina's sister, so it's no wonder he's doing this for you." He smiled.

I stared at him, heart beating against my chest. Itachi had always been kind to me, and we had established a form of…friendship…no matter how awkward. But I had never noticed him and my sister act like anything else aside from friends. What did this mean…"it's no wonder he's doing this for you"…why?

"Now, he said you were having some issues with Chakra Control." Shisui said, rubbing the back of his head as he stayed crouched down. "Between you and me, from Itachis letter, it looks like you've gotten a rounded idea of what the basics are. But…you're being taught by two Uchiha now, and basics are prerequisites, average is basic, above average is average, and exceptional is standard." He laughed. "So, we're going to hone in on that chakra, okay? By the time you enter the academy, you'll be just as good as Sasuke."

"Who?"

"Itachis brother!" Shisui said. "Don't tell me you haven't met him yet."

I bit my lip as I tried to remember. Itachi had said something about having a brother. But he had never brought him around.

"….I haven't." I said.

Shisui sighed as he smiled, shaking his head. "Well, he did ask me to help both of you." He chuckled. "We can meet up with him tomorrow. Between you and me, he doesn't like me much, so having you there might deflect from the glares I'll get from him." He laughed.

I stared at him, blankly. I didn't know what to say, what to do.

"That is…if you're okay with me teaching you." He said, tentatively. "You don't have to. Itachi asked me to check in, but if you already have your training down, then…"

"…..Shisui…." I said, his name foreign on my tongue. "…so you…you know Seina Nakahara?"

He cocked his head to the side. "I do. Itachi introduced us."

"…right." I said, with a shaky breath. "She…shes been gone, for a while, and…I was wondering if.."

"We haven't heard anything." He said, smile faltering. "But…she's in the Intel and Recon division. It's not uncommon for her to take long on her missions, isn't it?"

 _Not thislong._ _ **not**_ _this_ _ **lOng**_ _no_ _ **tthiSLONG**_

"….right." I said, swallowing back the unease I felt build up at the back of my throat.

"Seina-san is strong, isn't she?" He smiled.

"Yeah." I sniffled, wiping my eyes once more.

"So she'll be alright, won't she?"

"…Yeah.."

My chest _hurt._

"Sorry, um…i…I'd be happy to have you train me." I said, forcing a smile on my face as I bowed my head. "Please, take care of me."

He smiled, and nodded, as I looked back up at his kind eyes. He rose back up from his crouched stance, and began assessing all the supplies and scrolls I had on the training grounds. I stayed where I was, taking deep breaths.

Seina _had_ to be alright.

She had to be.

* * *

Shisui was just like Itachi, with more smiles. Brutal, relentless, train until you drop mentality. Thankfully, I had been doing that to myself anyways. Having someone there made it easier to cope with the…unease..that flooded my mind whenever I had a drop of free time. The first couple days were him assessing how far along I was on the Shinobi training ladder, and seeing my areas of weakness as well as areas of proficiency.

"Your chakra control isn't as bad as I assumed." He said. "Itachi made it seem like you still couldn't do the leaf exercise."

"…when he left, I couldn't." I said, somberly. "I've been training a lot since then."

He nodded, smiling as he watched me punch trees, use chakra to fuel my feet into running, jumping. I jumped over him with ease. No need to crouch down to make those leaps attainable now. I could run, fast. I could weave hand signs quickly. I was able to feel chakra within me and pinpoint it, coat it everywhere. The leaf exercise went from random explosion, to 5 seconds, to 10 seconds, and now, I was able to hold it steady for minutes on end. Kunai and Shuriken had improved as my chakra skill had, and since I was more sensitive to smell and hearing, I was also more sensitive to my surroundings. As my chakra coils developed, the ones near my eyes did as well, and I was able to better my hand eye coordination to the point that I could hit the same general area in a target consecutively.

"Alright." He said, smiling. "Looks like you're not in too bad of shape. Your chakra distribution is alright. You're still expanding a little too much though."

He walked over to the area I had started my running on and crouched down. "See this? When you expand too much chakra, it leaves behind burns. That's why when you did the leaf exercise before, if you used too much, the leaf would combust. It's the same with chakra distribution. When you distribute it to body parts, you need to distribute just the right amount, not more, not less. Otherwise, you can be tracked by the burn marks on the ground. Ninjutsu is a different realm altogether, but we'll get to that later." He said, waving a hand dismissively.

I looked at the marks on the floor, narrowing my eyes as I pursed my lips.

"Okay. I'll pick up some more scrolls on that, and…I'll make it better." I said.

He smiled, raising an eyebrow in surprise. "You can read?"

I turned to look up at him, as I nodded slowly, confused. "Can't you?"

He laughed. "Of course I can read. I'm just surprised you can. That's usually something the academy teaches."

"…oh."

He stared at me with a puzzled smile, as he shrugged. "You know, you may be worrying about the physical aspect of the academy, but something tells me you're going to be just fine on the scholarly side." He chuckled. "We'll start some more chakra exercises to help you master that control. Your taijutsu needs some improvement, and after you're up to speed on the physical aspect of it as well as farther in on your chakra training, we can start some ninjutsu."

I felt a smile break out. "Really?"

He smiled. "Yes, really. But first, we're gonna improve that Taijutsu. Hitting a person is far different from hitting a tree. So we're going to get you a sparring partner."

"…what?"

"It's time to go get Sasuke."

* * *

Walking up to the Uchiha compound was a frightening task in itself. I hadn't ever been to someones house, and I felt the anxiety bubble up inside me as we made our way. I walked behind Shisui the whole time, begging his frame to be my shield against any unforeseen 4 year olds that may burst forward.

He knocked on the door, and a lady answered with surprise. He politely asked for Sasuke, and she smiled, her gaze lingering over me as she raised an eyebrow.

"This is Satchiko Nakahara, Seinas sister." Shisui introduced me. He moved out of the way, leaving me exposed to the ladys stare.

"…H…hello." I said, bowing in respect.

"Ah, I see." She smiled. "Are you training to be a shinobi as well?"

I nodded

"Good, good." She smiled. " If I remember correctly, Itachi and Seina both graduated early, and Shisui san, weren't you top of the class?"

"Right, Mikoto-san." He smiled.

She looked me over, her gaze not unkind, but…inquisitive. It was like she was looking at my capabilities instead of me. How flexible did I look? How strong was i? What chakra competency did I have? Where did I stand on the scale of good to excellent?

I swallowed again, my stomach churning as I forced a smile.

She stared for a moment longer. "You have some good teachers here." She smiled. "Sasuke will be a good partner for you."

I felt my face flush as she walked in, calling out for her son as I let go of a breath I didn't know I was holding.

"Relax." Shisui said, bumping my shoulder lightly with his fist. "Mikoto-san is incredibly nice. See? She already likes you. Now, if Fugaku-san was home-"

"If Fugaku-san was home, _what_." A deep voice said. I yelped, scrambling behind Shisuis legs.

"Ah, Fugaku-san. This is Satchiko Nakahara, she's Se-"

"I'm aware of who she is." He interrupted. I felt small. This was Itachis dad?!

I was used to stern, because my father was. I was used to unemotional, because my father was. I wasn't used to the tinge in his voice of _authority_. That was foreign to me.

And it was frightening.

"Sasuke is on his way down." He said, staring at me. "Itachi informed me he was training a child, so I expect you to be up to our standards." He said. I hid further behind Shisuis legs.

"You're being trained by Uchiha now. Don't let that name be embarrassed."

I bit my lip as I stared at him. His eyes were penetrating, and I had never before felt so small. But his words invoked a snese of duty in me. Maybe it was the way he carried himself. Maybe it was that authoritative tone. But I felt a mix of fear and honor and pride swirl inside me.

Back then, I hadn't known the Uchiha name carried weight. I hadn't known that they were reknowned shinobi. That was something that came with being integrated into the village. The Hyuuga were uptight but kind, the Nara were genius, but lazy, etc. I hadn't known I was being trained by some of the best.

I trusted the Uchiha, because Seina had trusted an Uchiha, and that Uchiha had been the first person aside from my sister to show me any kindness. After spending so much time with him, it just became ingrained into my mind. Uchiha=safety. Uchiha=kindness. Uchiha=strength.

That's why when Shisui showed up that night, after he identified himself, I never felt danger. I didn't feel unsafe. I didn't feel threatened.

Beceause if Itachi was an Uchiha, and he had been good…then his family, his friends, anyone who was related to him…was good as well…no?

I rose from behind his legs, and Shisui raised an eyebrow at me as I came out, back straight, hands controlled, face up.

My mother may have not done much, but she did teach me to present myself accordingly.

"Thank you for the opportunity, Uchiha-san." I said, bowing politely. "I assure you I will work as hard as possible."

He and Shisui exchanged a glance, as Shisui smiled nervously.

"If you ever wish to see how I'm progressing, please, come watch us train." I offered.

Fugaku remained where he was arms crossed, face stagnant. Not unkind, not aggressive, just…authoritative. It was a stronger glare than Mikoto had given, but the same in nature. Assessing. Taking in every muscle on my small body. Taking in how calloused my small hands were, how battered my training attire, measuring, essentially, how dedicated I was to being a shinobi.

"Tou-san, Kaa-san, I'm going now."

A small child emerged from the door, followed by his mother, and standing in front of his father as I fought back the urge to hide behind Shisui once more. I needed to overcome this. I needed to be comfortable with speaking to people. I needed to learn to interact.

But that picture, the image of a child with two parents…sending him off to train, to follow what he wanted to do…that image of a child being supported and encouraged and so clearly loved…

It made my heart clench.

"Sasuke." Fugaku said, placing a hand on the boys shoulder as they both stared at me. "This is Satchiko Nakahara. Itachi is helping her train, but while he's out, Shisui is stepping in. Satchiko, this is my son, Sasuke."

I swallowed hard as I felt a slight glare penetrate the protective bubble I had built around myself.

He definitely got it from his dad.

'stand your ground.' I told myself. 'TALK.'

"It's nice to meet you, Sasuke." I said, smiling. My heart rammed in my chest.

"Nice to meet you too." He mumbled, adjusting his pack on his shoulders as he glanced back at his father.

"Go on." He smiled. "Enjoy your training."

"I packed a bento for you and Satchiko as well." Mikoto said. I felt my throat tighten. "Try to come back before sundown, I'll have dinner ready for everyone by then."

Everyone?

"Alright." Sasuke smiled, as he began to walk towards Shisui and I. He gave a slight glare to Shisui as we said goodbye to his parents, Fugaku still staring at me as I turned and walked away.

"So, Sasuke, how have you been? It's been a while, ne? Itachi tells me you've been working really hard on your-"

"Are we training here, or in the fields." He interrupted.

Shisui and I exchanged a look, mine worried, his more along the lines of 'told you he didn't like me.'

It was going to be a long session.


	5. Prologue: The Friend

_**I flew higher**_

 _ **than I had ever**_

 _ **but I still felt small.**_

* * *

Sasuke Uchiha. What could I tell you about Sasuke Uchiha.

My first impression? Absolutely, and horrifyingly, intimidating.

Worse than Itachi. Even worse than his dad. And I felt ridiculous, because he was MY age. We were supposed to be training to get better, and even as we walked to the fields, his body oozed definition and agility and STRENGTH that my little one had only barely begun to acquire.

Add that, to his slight glares, his constant "Why are YOU here" tone, and his dismissive nature whenever Shisui even attempted to tell him what it was that I had learned, and yeah, I was definitely, without a doubt, spooked.

That, and the fact this was the first kid my age I had met.

…yeah. Not a good start.

"Why is Nii-san training her?" He grumbled.

Shisui glanced back at us, eyebrow raised as I bit my lip.

"Well, she's Seinas' younger sister, and Seina asked Itachi to help."

"Why." He mumbled. I kept my eyes on the ground.

"Alright, here we are!" Shisui said, setting his pack down as we arrived at one of the training fields. "We're going to start with some stretches, go over some basic forms, and then we'll go with a spar."

"Okay." Me and Sasuke chorused, the latter giving me a glare as we began bending and twisting.

I felt his eyes on me the whole time, the same way his father and his mother had stared at me. Calculating, assessing. I gulped, as I found the courage to look back at him.

His glare intensified.

I looked away.

"Standard form!" Shisui said, as both of us rose from the positions we had and switched to standard academy.

"Tiger?" Shisui said, sitting cross legged in front of us as we switched.

"Dragon." He commanded, and we moved accordingly.

"….Uchiha." He smiled.

Sasuke moved as I glanced over, his body seamlessly turning in the designated taijutsu style of his clan.

"Can you copy that, Satchiko?"

I would've, had Sasuke not been giving me a glare that said "try it, and I'll go straight for your face in the spar."

"Um…no thank you." I smiled. "I…I think that's your clans style, and…I'm not an Uchiha, so.."

"You're being taught by two of the Uchiha." Shisui chuckled. "There's no harm in expanding some clan traits if it means the shinobi they work with will be equally as strong."

"...maybe other traits." I smiled, feeling a pang in my chest.

"…I'll teach you another time then." Shisui said.

I winced. His words may have said "I'll teach you another time." His tone said "You're learning whether you want to or not."

I sighed.

"Alright. Sasuke, Satchiko, this is both your first spar. Let's set some ground rules until we get a little more comfortable with each other, okay?"

"Okay." We chorused again.

"This is strictly taijutsu. No kunai, no shuriken. If I say stop, we stop. If I say you can keep going, you keep going. Okay?"

"Okay."

"We start with the seal of confrontation. Face each other."

I turned towards Sasuke, as he stared at me, stone faced and determined. I let out a small smile, in an attempt to offer a small sign of friendship.

I received no smiles back.

"Raise two fingers." Shisui said, we did as we were told. "This is the seal of confrontation. It means you're ready to face each other in battle. This is a spar, but you have to take it seriously. Don't be afraid to hit, or to get hit. You're training to be shinobi. Don't take that lightly.

I gulped as Sasuke nodded his eyes never straying from mine.

"When I say go, you go."

We both nodded. The wind stilled, and I could feel my heart in my ears.

"Go."

In a flash, both of us darted forward. Sasuke charged with his left fist first, and I leaned my head to the side, hearing the wiz of the air fly through my ears. His face contorted in annoyance, and he quickly turned to raise his leg towards my face. I ducked, again hearing the speed and force of his kick fly through the air, and I winced. I needed to hit. I needed to fight back. Every scroll I had read and every tree I had hit had prepared me for this moment right in front of me. Me, and an opponent.

But Shisui was right. Hitting a person is far more different than hitting a tree.

…and I didn't want to hit him.

Sasuke continued a barrage of attacks. Elbow to the face, ducked. Punch to the chest, dodged. Kick to the stomach, deflected. It wasn't until he tried to punch me in the jaw, when I used his momentum to grab his outstretched elbow, and pulled him forward while quickly moving behind him, that he growled in frustration.

I had made him stumble.

"Sorry…are you-"

"Don't apologize, Satchiko."

I glanced over to Shisui. "But-"

"Don't take your eyes off the-"

I felt Sasuke rush towards me before I saw him. It was like a wave, building, building, and the closer it got, the more I felt pulled under. I snapped my head to him, just in time to see his fist collide with my stomach.

A noise from the back of my throat emerged as I wrapped my arms around my torso protectively and sank to my knees, forehead touching the ground.

"Satchiko." Shisui sighed. "Don't take your eyes off your sparring partner."

"…ow…" I whispered, trying to swallow the indefinite need to vomit that suddenly came.

"The Spar is still going." Sasuke said. I glanced up at him.

I was expecting some sort of satisfaction from him. Perhaps because every encounter we had had thus far had indicated a sense of dislike towards me.

But no. His face showed…nothing. Not joy, not sadness, not regret, not…anything.

It was like he had no hesitation.

There was no doubt in his surge. No recognition of the pain he was so willing to inflict. There was no sympathy. There was no mercy, no kindness. He was like a machine, doing what he was told to do.

He…was something otherworldly. And I, for the life of me, couldn't grasp what had made him so…relentless.

 _'this world shows no mercy. Not for women, not for children.'_

Seinas' words. The things that drove me to choose this path. The words that made me choose to protect the people I deemed precious.

I had said once, if the world showed no mercy, then I didn't want to show any either…

Was this the world beyond the fence?

I blanked my face, summoning the courage I needed from the depths of my heart.

"Come on, Satchiko. I know one punch isn't going to keep you down, ne?" Shisui said.

I got up, taking a deep breath. Sasuke charged forward, fist drawn back, as he let out a guttural growl. His fist flew by my face once more as I stayed put, tilting my neck to the right as his hand flew past. I ducked under, remembering scrolls I had read, putting my knowledge to the test, as I grabbed his elbow, and flung him down.

If he was not going to hesitate, I wouldn't either.

He twisted in midair, landing in a crouch, as he went for my legs. I jumped up, thankful for the flexibility lessons Itachi had forced me to undergo, as I used his shoulders as a point of balance and flipped over him, raising my leg to go for his head.

His neck snapped down as my foot flew over him, his eyes narrowed in annoyance as he came for me once more.

Fist after fist after fist. Our small bodies contorted and bent with hard earned agility, and we began this graceful dance. I had a counter for every offense. He had another attack for every deflection. The things I was good at; he was bad at. The things I needed practice on, he excelled in. It was like fitting in the blanks in a Sudoku puzzle. Everything, every step, every punch, had its designated place.

Sasuke was talented. His attacks were precise, and they were strong. His form was perfect, and he never had a single foot out of line. It was from this moment that I knew he would be a talented shinobi. He had it all. Force, agility, strength.

But I had him beat in one thing.

Speed.

For every punch he threw, I was faster.

I did land some hits. Quick little jabs. One on the ribs, the other, the back of the neck. My knuckles colliding against something other than tree bark felt strange, and even though I had the full intention of hitting with the same force I hit bark with, I quickly learned that even my hardest punches didn't phase him as much as his did to me. His pain tolerance, as well as his ability to take a punch, was far higher than mine.

The mild surprise that I had after realizing just how much softer than intended my hits were, provided an opening, which he was able to take advantage of. He attempted lots of hits, most of which I was able to dodge. Two, however, landed. Not in their intended locations, but nonetheless, they landed. I got a particularly nasty bruise on my cheek, that had been aimed at my nose, and bruise on my shoulder, that had originally been aimed for my jaw. I panted for a couple second after those, trying to compose myself as I winced from pain. He kept going though, never going off beat, never missing a step. The dance continued, and he was full intent on making it a performance to be proud of.

I wasn't better than him at all.

I was just faster.

"Stop." Shisui said, as we both fell onto our backs, faces towards the sky, chests heaving as we panted. He walked over to us as he chuckled, a low whistle escaping from his mouth.

"Well, I will say, you're both definitely talented."

A smile broke out on both our faces as we sat up to look at him.

"Sasuke, your frontal attacks are practically flawless." Shisui said. "Your form is perfect, and your technique is definitely influenced by Itachi. You have great potential, and it's definitely showing. We may have to work a little on speed, but, everything else is definitely up to par. You did a good job."

I looked at Sasuke as he beamed, all traces of the stubborn, glaring child gone.

"Satchiko." Shisui said. I winced, getting ready for the criticism. I looked away, knowing that I wasn't going to get a good review. I had barely attacked, and even then, I had spent most of my time defending.

"Your evasion skills are definitely above average." He smiled. "This was only your first spar, so I need to see more of your frontal attacks to judge that, although, towards the end there, you did show some good defensive maneuvers. Whenever you did attack, you used Sasukes own weight against him. It was a smart battle."

I snapped my head up at him in surprise, as I felt my cheeks flush and a smile break out.

"Tell me, did you both feel anything while you fought?" He asked.

"Weak?" I mumbled, and Sasuke snorted.

"No, no." Shisui chuckled. "I meant, something a little more substantial. Did you feel any, let's say, pressure, or heat, or cold?"

"…I felt a wave." I said, quietly.

"What was that?" Shisui asked, turning towards me.

I sighed, as I raised a cool hand to the bruise forming on my cheek. "I felt a wave. When I looked at you, as Sasuke was coming to punch me...I felt him before he got there." I mumbled. "It felt like a wave, like it was just coming closer and closer and I was getting sucked into it. And then…it hit…and I didn't feel it anymore."

"I felt warm." Sasuke said. "When she caught me off gua- I mean, when she managed to push me." He corrected. "When she got behind me, I felt warm, and it got closer until she pushed me, and then I got so mad, I didn't feel it."

Shisui nodded, a small smile creeping up on his face. "Good. You both have developed chakra sensors."

"Chakra sensors?" I asked.

"Everything, and everyone, has chakra." Shisui said. "Some have more than others, but it's everywhere. Everyone has their own Chakra signature as well. Some shinobi who are hypersensitive to this, designate themselves as sensor shinobi and exclusively work with tracking. Others only sense it when they're in battle. However, it's good to train your sensing abilities even if you aren't hypersensitive to them. It'll help from anyone catching you off guard." He said.

Sasukes ears perked up as he continued.

"Chakra is perceived differently by everyone, because everyone's chakra is different. Satchiko may perceive your chakra in the form of a wave, Sasuke, but the sensation she feels when she senses mine might be more drastic, since I have my chakra much more controlled. It's a good way to measure opponent's ability as well. As you grow, so will this ability, and eventually, your tolerance for other chakras. Right now, Satchiko, you felt as if you were being pulled under. That's because Sasuke naturally has large reserves of chakra, and he hasn't controlled them yet. Compared to him, your reserves are small. Same with you, Sasuke." Shisui said, turning to him.

"You felt warm now, but as she gets more control over her chakra and learns how to use it, that warmth may turn to heat. Our senses pick up on that, and in an attempt to warn you of the possible danger, they force you to feel a sense of unease. It's like a gut instinct telling you to err on the side of caution. As shinobi, It's our duty to make that judgement call. To listen, or ignore. You will face opponents that will make you feel like you're drowning, or burning. It's up to you to take a deep breath and take them on anyway.

We both swallowed hard, and nodded. I bit my lip as I leaned back into the grass, eyeing the pink orange clouds caused by the sunset that floated above.

"Now, Sasuke." Shisui said, smiling. "Any words of advice for Satchiko?"

"huh?" Sasuke asked, face pulled into a frown. I felt my eye twitch.

"Is there anything you think Satchiko should improve on? You were her opponent. I saw from an outsider point of view, but I wasn't the one fighting."

"mm." Sasuke said, pulling his lips into a pout. "Well…she's weak…but.."

"Don't tell me. Tell her." Shisui said gesturing at me. I groaned, before closing my eyes and looking away.

Sasuke sighed as he looked at me, and I didn't have to look at him to know he was staring at me up and down and frowning.

"You're weak." He said. "I don't know why, but you acted like you didn't want to hit me in the beginning. You changed towards the end, but, still, your hits weren't particularly forceful."

I sighed, eyes still closed. "…I didn't want to hurt you." I mumbled.

"What?"

"I said, it's because I didn't want to hurt you." I said, louder this time. "In the beginning…I know it's silly…I know you're supposed to hurt each other. But…I had just met you, and you hadn't done anything wrong to me, and I felt…bad.…I don't know." I sighed, trying to find the right words to explain. Even if I was speaking in public with a bit of ease now, it was still hard to put the things I felt in my chest into actual words. It was hard to tell people how I felt, and it was hard to bring the words from the inside of my heart, up my throat, and out into the open.

"I know, logically speaking, I have to hurt people. But…It was just hard. I'd never hit anyone before. And I didn't WANT to hit you…I got better at it towards the end, like you said. But earlier…It was just..hard."

Shisui stared at me as I rambled, a sympathetic smile creeping up on his face. Sasuke stared at me in disbelief, as I met his gaze with a smile and shrug.

"My hits are still weak, I know." I said, turning my head to look at the boy. "I'll work on that, and get stronger. And next time, I…I won't hesitate so much.

"Well, we have time to make sure you get better with that." Shisui said, still cross legged in front of Sasuke and I. "Do you have anything to say to Sasuke?" He asked.

"…You did good." I confessed. "I mean, I don't know what good is, since it's my first one…but..I worked really hard to keep up. And your hits are strong. I can already feel a bruise forming here." I chuckled, pointing to my cheek. "So…just keep it up, I guess. Maybe someday I can catch up." I smiled.

Sasuke stared at me without saying a word, before looking back at the sky.

"….You…you're really fast." He said. "Faster than me. But…I'll catch up soon too."

"Maybe." I smiled.

"I will." He said, determined. "I'm gonna get faster, and I'm gonna get stronger too. I'm gonna be a part of the Konoha Police Force and become a strong Shinobi just like Nii-san. And then, when we spar, you'll have a bunch more bruises!"

"That's if you can catch me!" I joked. "By that time, I'll be super strong and fast as well!"

"Now, now.." Shisui said

"As if." Sasuke pouted. "You're gonna get maybe a little bit stronger, but not as strong as me!"

"Just you wait." I laughed, grabbing a handful of grass and throwing it at him. "I'm gonna be the fastest shinobi in Konoha."

"Hey!" He said, a smile breaking out as he threw grass at me.

"Guys, come on" Shisui smiled, as I got a bigger handful of grass and threw it at Sasuke. He laughed, as it floated over him, before he got up and began gathering more. I followed, and we threw bits of handfuls here and there as we gathered our piles.

"You said you're gonna get faster right? Well, let's put that to the test!" I laughed, throwing a large pile at him. He gathered some in his hands quickly as we started running, Sasuke throwing grass at me as I easily outran him, his face bright, smiling, laughing.

"Guys." Shisui chuckled. "I know this is fun, but Mikoto-san said she was going to have dinner ready. We need to get going soon."

Sasuke and I came to a halt as we glanced at each other, hands full of grass and knees stained green from the lawn. Sweat caked our foreheads and our clothes were muddy from rolling around on the dirt. He gave a quick glance at Shisui as I gave a slight nod, a smile breaking out as we lurched forward dumping the grass onto his dark curls.

"GUYS!" He laughed, before sticking out his tongue to get the little bits that had gotten in his mouth, and running his fingers through his hair to rid himself of the ones stuck in his locks.

Sasuke and I laughed as we made a run for it, continuing to throw grass at each other as Shisui let us lead the way back to the Uchiha compound. I remember glancing back at them, catching a glimpse of their smiles, their eyes crinkling as they kept pulling handfuls of grass and tossing them back and forth to each other, laughing, squealing...

In years to come, I'd look back on this moment and weep.


End file.
